Building Resilience Through Tough Conversations
Resilience comes from sticking with tough conversations instead of avoiding them or just trying to come out on top.
Mr Harris, the divisional executive, said that the board report was excellent and that only the confusing sentence at the beginning of section two should be removed.
Arthur knew exactly which sentence Mr Harris meant. Although it didn’t make sense, the board secretariat required it. Leaving it out would cause the report to be rejected. As Arthur tried to explain, he noticed Mr Harris getting annoyed. Arthur felt tense because Mr Harris was not used to being questioned, especially about something so simple.
For a moment, Arthur thought about leaving to make the change and leaving Mr Harris to deal with the fallout. The other option was to enforce the secretariat’s strict rules, which was less appealing.
Arthur decided it was best to stay in the conversation and be honest, even though it felt awkward. He admitted the sentence seemed unreasonable but explained the secretariat required it. Then he let Mr Harris decide. As Arthur was about to leave, Mr Harris paused, thought it over, and agreed to keep the sentence, though he grumbled about the secretariat’s assumed power.
Most people avoid conflict because it feels disruptive, especially if they can blame someone else. But if we resist the urge to run away or argue and face the discomfort, we build resilience. This helps us stay focused and make a positive impact.
The next time you feel under pressure and want to run or argue, try to stay calm and kind. It can help you resolve the problem.
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